Official Business Memo from the small desk outside the President's OfficeThere are two matters which I wish to discuss, first are high speed runs, the other, Fulton Ring extraction drills.
High Speed RunsFor those who have not had the pleasure of visiting Stovebolt Headquarters, it is nestled within the rolling countryside of a Mennonite community. The ability to perform high speed runs is limited only to designated areas only. For the safety of all, I ask you please adhere to these requests. The area for this purpose, otherwise now and forever known as the
Sir Charles Expressway will be made available upon certification that the truck in question has passed and certified itself
Speed Ready by the Sargeant-at-Arms and/or the President along with other members of the 70 mph club.
At which time approval is granted, testing will be supervised and witnessed. A gradual approach will be made to ensure mechanical ability of the truck, along with the owner's ability to keep from soiling their shorts. Smiles and big grins encouraged.
Fulton Ring Extraction DrillsBy order of the President, Emergency Preparedness Drill 758.42 has been scheduled for possible execution. For those not familiar, this drill is an extreme measure to remove the President from immediate danger. Please see here :
Fulton Ring In order to safely conduct this exercise, the release point, The Stovebolt Pond must be re-certified. By order of the President, Don King has been officially notified to bring his wetsuit and conduct the Advanced Design Swim Test for Out-of-Staters. Thus satisfying ordinance, #, uh, (Council, please install proper ordinance # here please), recertifying the pond.
Upon completion of certification Mr. King shall also have properly sized MUMU to wear during the recovery process.
Other activities are in the planning stages. Come one, come all!
Thank you for your time this morning.
