Glad everyone had a good time! I'm very sorry to have missed it.
Sweet ... Apparently this conversation (Under ODSS Jurisprudence Guidelines) is serving as your arraignment and Grand Jury. You have entered a guilty plea. Therefore, there will be no court martial. You are headed directly to the sentencing phase. Cosmo, as convening authority, may pass sentence.
As your legal counsel in this case, I only wish you had consulted with me prior to pleading -- I'm confident we could have plead to a lesser offence... Oh well. Maybe I can get you a reduced sentence ...
If the court so pleases ... Mr. President, my client was suffering from extreme mental duress at the time of the offence, was not aware that he was committing the offence, and, due to his decreased mental acuity at the time of the offence, was unable to make a determination that it was wrong anyway. I urge the court to impose a JUST sentence of the punishment already served (i.e., the pain, suffering and humiliation incurred from his so-called "Brothers" in the ODSS). My client will learn from this and be a better man. Heaping more punishment upon my client, who already feels miserable and ashamed, would be cruel and vindictive. Is that what we are??? I say we are better than that, your Honor! This is an opportunity to prove once again something that we already know -- that you are a wise, just and merciful man without even a taint of sadism or cruelty. Do the right thing, Mr. President!
Humbly Submitted,
J. Crosby Milliman. Esq.
From the desk of yer pres....,
Duly noted, well represented and defended Mr. Milliman. And now for the sentencing...The accused will immediately get down for 25 clean push ups, ten if one child happens to mount Dad as he is exercising the sentence.
Sorry to have missed the ODSS-Bean-Fest-Junkyard-Crawl-Proof-That-We-Are-Alive-In-Mid-Winter-Get-Together, goodness, that would be lettering for one busy 'T-shirt'!! I got into a knife fight with the intake and exhaust gaskets, lost round one badly and then rallied for the second round. As the only vehicle in the garage I was forced to do the right thing as I had a noticeable exhaust leak from a badly cracked one piece gasket. This gasket was proclaimed by the vendor to be the greatest invention since the root beer truck and the ice truck collided into eachother at a blind intersection thereby giving us Ice Cold Root Beer. Alas, no one person had thought of it before.
I have an old truck mechanic guru-friend that 'talked me off the ledge' with the wonderful phrasing, "Many a good inline mechanic has gone in there and come out with a leaker". I took this good advice to heart as I went in the second time and did copious note taking and check-off lists to achieve mechanical Nirvana. Indeed, a splended time was assured for the youngster from central Virginny.
Peace and prosperity,
Cosmo
