on a shift when i was working the bus, we ran on a med call to an address we had to run on alot. there was a dolly parton look alike who lived there, and honestly, was a hypochondriac. she had a pair of 38 "d" knockers, she stuffed into a much smaller bra. probably at least 2 sizes too small.
this time, at a family gathering, she laid on the living room floor, and said she couldn't breathe. the entire family was in the living room when we walked in, and we asked the men if they could take the children into another room. that left us in the room with about 4 women, and the woman's husband. now this gal is fighting for breath (hyperventilating) and is loud as hell with her moaning and whining. (it's a neat trick being able to yell when you can't breathe). as i set up the cardiac monitor, my partner unbuttoned the patient's blouse, and we both could easily see the thing was cutting into her flesh. my partner pulled out his scissors and cut the bra, which snapped like a high powered rubber band and a couple of glands burst forth about 4 inches into the air. for a moment, it was perfectly quiet. my partner and i were staring at quite an impressive set, and i think we realized this was far out of the ordinary. my partner, who later told me he didn't mean to say it, said out loud, well, hell-lo! i started laughing under my breath, and fighting not to laugh out loud. i lowered my head, and connected the leads to the monitor, but i was trying so hard not to laugh, i was blowing snot bubbles and drooling. my buddy was doing much the same. as per her usual, our patient started feeling much better and refused transport. as we were loadin our stuff, the woman's husband came outside, and man, he was mad.
he looks at me, ready to fight, and asks if i was laughing at his wife. i ask him "you got cats in there?", and he says, "well yeah, what that got to do with anything?". i told him i'm highly allergic to cats, and i was trying as hard as i could not to cough on your wife. i couldn't help the runny nose and slobber, but i apologize for that". the guy says "oh", and walks back to the house. on the way back, my partner says "man, you are quick thinking. for a minute i thought i was going to see you get your butt kicked". some partner.
sorry for stealing your thread john. i'm done.
