"I was always told that if the hose is too hot to hold... its too hot for the engine."
I'd say 200° rubber would be "too hot to hold", but definitely wouldn't be too hot for an engine
if you don't trust the kitchen thermometer to check the water temp in the rad, what made you so sure it was accurate testing the thermostat? if you check the water temp with the kitchen thermometer and find it's around 200, you've got an inaccurate gauge or sending unit
the other cheap and easy check is to try a 165 stat and see if the same thing happens ... I've never seen a 235 run hot unless it wasn't getting good water circulation, they're a cold blooded lot
Bill