Big John,
Sorry to hear it man, now things are getting more difficult. Once You shimmed it and put washers in a way to bring it closer and no succes, all You can do before removing it all and changing the flexplate is try to do what brsdb suggested, get the shim kit with the proper rod and try to see what's going on. If nothing wrong shows up, sorry, I really feel You should have to swap the flexplate as it may be faulty. By the way did You checked all the flexplate? may have some spoiled tooth in a part of it only, not all the way.
