Craig, don't be makin' yerself so scarce.
John opened up a new hangout called "The Greasy Spoon," but don't go in there with any thought of messin' around. The waitress is also the bouncer!
Check out the new T-shirts and stuff in John's Hoo-ya Shop. You've been missin' out on stuff, man, and you've been missed.
Be sure to read about all the stupid things we've been doin' while you were away. Joker started it, as usual! :p