I copied this from another forum. It is appropriate for all fathers and fathers-to-be.
A little background; this guy drives a street-legal, low 9 sec., 4 cyl, turbo charged Mustang, and he appropriately named his daughter Revyn.
"Well, as some of you know I've now been a father for 5 weeks. It's been absolutely wonderful and I really have to give praise to my beautiful wife for handling our first child like a pro. Our little girl, Revyn, has been great, is perfectly healthy and fortunately looks like her mother and not her father. But, over the past few sleepless weeks I've put together a couple of comparisons that car guys might understand, specifically to my race/street car:
Car: Blows a head gasket every once in awhile, otherwise pretty dry all around aside from the weekly bath
Child: Blows some sort of gasket every 2 hours without fail. Some of these gasket failures border on the unnatural and are frequently known to send adults into other regions of the home for fear of fatal ramifications. The only thing attracted to the by-products of these failures seems to be my poodle who will persistenly pursue the diapers until such time as he has at least gotten to sniff this foul substance and has at times been known to get ahold of the diaper and partake of the blowout (which I have ascribed the nickname: stew).
Car: Requires fuel about once a week. Car uses every bit of this fuel and never gripes about amount of fuel or even frequency of refueling if not used. I know when I put this fuel in that it will stay in the tank and be used appropriately.
Child: Requires fuel every 3 hours on the dot. During this refueling process much of the fuel is immediately blown out the same hole it entered within only minutes. This fuel will only blow back out at a time when the towel is not within reach or the general vicinity of said blowout. I recommend old T-shirts during refueling. In addition, the odor of this fuel is magically changed between the time of refueling and the blowout and within these several minutes the rather dull odor of milk is radically transformed into some sort of rotten, festering stinch that would make a landfill proud and repel all except those whose cravings border on the profain and downright disgusting (read: my poodle).
Car: Runs on demand almost every time I hit the starter. Car continues to run until I decide to shut it off. I then park the car until such time I choose to start it again.
Child: Runs only when she darn well pleases, don't dare try to tell her when and when not to run. Read: She will run at times of most inconcenience to parents and witnesses. She will run (cry) during each and every climax of an interesting detective show, mystery or drama. She will start this procedure every time a client calls after hours. During these times of disruption, most frequently it is either due to a blowout or need to refuel.....either of which come with side effects not easily dealt with at the office, mall, dinner, church or bedtime for the parents. More importantly, the father has been known to faint or have a blowout of his own dealing with the extremes of these blowouts and refuelings.
I'm sure I'll think of more later. I surely do love fatherhood. I wouldn't trade this little girl for the world. I do not think that I could ever teach her as much as she has taught/is teaching me. I really only hope to teach her that I love her with all of me...and also that a little humor can make life a lot easier.
I'msomeone'sdaddyTony"
