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Posted By: John Milliman BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sat Jun 20 2020 06:57 PM
***FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE***

Compton, MD -- A team of research scientists, working at the ODSS Research Institute (part of the University of Compton campus), have determined that married men, ages 35 to 80, are highest risk of carrying coronovirus without symptoms and is recommending, in a paper to be published Monday in the Stovebolt Journal of Automotive Medicine and Taxidermy, that all men in that age and marital group are to self quarantine immediately to reduce exposure to women and children.

Quarantine centers are being set up in local garages and shops in the greater DELMARVA region. Married men, 35 to 80, are asked to report immediately to their local garage or shop and stay there for at least 14 days or longer if needed. To conserve resources, men are encouraged to "buddy up" in the quarantine centers.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you weasel turds," said research team lead, Mike Roache, "But I'm feeling no pain, er, I mean no symptoms so I'm getting myself into my garag.... I mean quarantine center immediately."

For more details on this breaking news, please read the full article.

***30***
Posted By: VEW Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sat Jun 20 2020 07:38 PM
Well them. I’ve been quarantining since April. Heck, I’ve been it for 30+ years!
Posted By: 52Carl Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sat Jun 20 2020 08:02 PM
Apparently I have transitioned from being a germophobe to a genius without changing behavior whatsoever.
Posted By: AWinLex Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sat Jun 20 2020 09:48 PM
accurate scientific research from this ODSS organization. please adopt advice immediately.
1000 % more accurate than Fauchi, or whatever his name is. Research lead Roach is way more accurate.

Don't forget to bring elixir into the quarantine. DB is the recommended elixir.

so thankful for this research and advice. !!!
Posted By: John Milliman Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sat Jun 20 2020 11:11 PM
Alec -- good advice. I've seen the advance copy of the full report and they go into some detail regarding the suggested prophylactic treatment for the above mentioned quarantine centers is a common OTC medication most often found as a compound of Di-hydrogen Oxide and CH3CH2OH and sold under a variety of trade/brand names such as "Devil's Backbone Vienna Lager" or, for the more frugal, "Natural Light."

I think Mr. Roache has been deep into his follow up research into this course of treatment and may be unavailable for (lucid) comment for some time. chug

Carl ... You?? a germaphobe????????
Posted By: Mike Roache Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sun Jun 21 2020 01:23 AM
I think I'll need to have a meeting with the Grand Poohbah
Posted By: TPR57C Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sun Jun 21 2020 01:52 AM
Been trying that treatment downunder works well keep to the script
Posted By: 2-Ton Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sun Jun 21 2020 02:17 AM
Here are some treatments I have been getting in the past!

Don

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Posted By: SWEET Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Sun Jun 21 2020 12:33 PM
Great advise

Better head to my nearest safe center immediately
Posted By: John Milliman Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Mon Jun 22 2020 12:44 AM
Don, if you make us look at the pirate ship one more time, you'll need more than beer to protect you.

nono
Posted By: Bill Marlow Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Mon Jun 22 2020 09:48 AM
I'm glad to see that I too have been following the great advice outlined in the SJAMT article accept the buddying up part. I have been seriously derelict in this requirement. Oh sure, I quarantined myself to the shop too and I am getting stuff done but possibly a little too much "treatment" going on over the past 3 months...…
I think I am about ready to try a different quarantine center cool
Posted By: amtrakjoe Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Tue Jun 23 2020 10:43 AM
Where's your Bucaneer's ?

Under me buckin hat ?
Posted By: John Milliman Re: BREAKING NEWS!!! - Tue Jun 23 2020 02:44 PM
Billy, apparently you aren't the only one over medicating ... chug
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