'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the shop,
Not a creature was staring not even a hop.
ODSS jackets hung on the rack with care,
Four empty Mason jars prove no one is sober to care.
All Brothers and Sisters passed out on the floor,
Not to worry, Freja guards the door.
As Don wears the thong, and Leo his cap,
The ODSS settles down for their drunken nap.
Suddenly! Out by the driveway there is a great big clatter!
John jumps to the deck to see what's the matter,
Away to the window Tim sprints like a flash!
Billy opens the garage door and made a big crash!
The moon reflects off Mike B's hood in our mighty truck row,
Gave the luster of a GM dealership decades ago.
Then a foggy Amtrak Joe's feels a rumble in his feet,
It's a massive sleigh and 8 from our fleet!
With the finest of drivers who is kind like an elf,
Comes none other than the President himself.
More rapid than Fords, our trucks they came,
Cosmo swigs his Mason jar and shouts them by name!
On Flappy, On Dempsey, On Charlie, and GreenMachine
On Doughboy, On Phantom, On Bill, and Pierce's Suburban dream.
To the top of the shop or back by the still,
Roar away! Roar away! Roar up the hill!
With their timing in synch, the fleet catches air,
Alec reaches for the jar and watches how Cosmo would fare.
While he wings them around with a smirk and a glare.
Then in a twinkling we hear by the fire,
The screeching and squealing of each single tire.
Downstairs finally Bone lifts his head and turns around,
Down the chimney Cosmo comes abound!
Cosmo tells Bone he's out of fuel, got any diesel or gas?
Bone says "I won't touch a thing or John will kick my a$$"
He frolics around spreading joy and cheer
Then fills each truck full of scotch, moonshine, and beer!!
Before he leaves he enjoys tenderloin and a giant chug,
Then he gives Ms Peggy a hug.
He hops in his truck, the wreath begins to glow so very bright
Peels off and says:
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!