Never my spouse but I've been in similar situations and have found that looking through some albums/pictures of the good times/travels helps to know we have truly lived and loved. Lost my wonderful niece at 16 and before she left us we looked through pictures and to this day, I still smile when I see the pictures of her driving my 37 pickup just two weeks before her time came. (through tears, but tears of gratitude for the years she was here.)
Sedgewick, Victoria and I hope you will find these things, are others, that will put things in a more positive light. You and your family, as well as hers, is on our prayer list. We care.