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Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114505 Sun Jul 19 2015 02:12 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 6,862
W
Master Gabster
Huh, Duh, whatever!!!!


Ron, The Computer Greek
I love therefore I am.

1960 MGA Roadster Sold 7/18/2017
1954 3100 Chevy truck in the Gallery
2017 Buick Encore
Pix on Photobucket
Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114514 Sun Jul 19 2015 03:22 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 21,062
H
Boltergeist
A police dispatcher gets a radio call from a patrol unit that has been dispatched to investigate a domestic disturbance. Here's the conversation:

"Dispatch, patrol unit 5 reporting from 1234 Main St."

"Go ahead, unit 5"

"The wife has just shot her husband for walking on her freshly-mopped kitchen floor!"

"Do you have the wife in custody?"

"Not yet- - - - -the floor is still wet!"

eeeek
Jerry




The murder victim was drowned in a bathtub full of Rice Krispies and milk.
The coroner blamed the crime on a cereal killer!

Cringe and wail in fear, Eloi- - - - -we Morlocks are on the hunt!
Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114525 Sun Jul 19 2015 05:16 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,585
R
Shop Shark
A guy and his son are in the supermarket. Ahead of them is a very large lady wearing a pager on her belt. She is taking up the whole aisle and moving very slowly. The whole time they're in the store they are stuck behind her with no way to get around her. As they approach the checkout line, suddenly the woman's pager begins going off. The boy hollers, "Look out Dad! She's backing up!!


Rich

'47 Loadmaster

Life is like a roll of toilet paper--the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!






Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114555 Sun Jul 19 2015 03:01 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,000
M
Shop Shark
Funny joke, had to explain to my youngest what a pager was.

Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114604 Sun Jul 19 2015 09:21 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 6,862
W
Master Gabster
The punch line is ,You can have April fools day. The rest might offend.


Ron, The Computer Greek
I love therefore I am.

1960 MGA Roadster Sold 7/18/2017
1954 3100 Chevy truck in the Gallery
2017 Buick Encore
Pix on Photobucket
Re: Today's humor
WE b OLD #1114617 Sun Jul 19 2015 10:34 PM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 413
R
Shop Shark
A German lorry driver in a pub in Newcastle starts yakking about how lazy the British are. He states he drives his load from Hamburg, goes through Holland, Belgium, up to Newcastle and back to Hamburg in three days.

An old Brit sitting in the corner mutters.. "Ay! Way back man... I used to pick up my load in Newcastle drop off in Hamburg and be back in Newcastle the same day."

The German trucker snorted and said... "Oh Yeah....what rig were you driving?"

The old fella replied... "A LANCASTER BOMBER!!!"


It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114630 Mon Jul 20 2015 12:27 AM
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 9,131
Tiny Offline OP
Master Gabster
grin


Save a life, adopt a senior shelter pet.
The three main causes of blindness: Cataracts, Politics, Religion.
Name your dog Naked so you can walk Naked in the park.
Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114634 Mon Jul 20 2015 01:06 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 6,862
W
Master Gabster
grin wink


Ron, The Computer Greek
I love therefore I am.

1960 MGA Roadster Sold 7/18/2017
1954 3100 Chevy truck in the Gallery
2017 Buick Encore
Pix on Photobucket
Re: Today's humor
WE b OLD #1114650 Mon Jul 20 2015 02:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,585
R
Shop Shark
Originally Posted by WE b OLD
The punch line is ,You can have April fools day. The rest might offend.

grin
I'm pretty sure I know the one you are referring to.


Rich

'47 Loadmaster

Life is like a roll of toilet paper--the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!






Re: Today's humor
Tiny #1114950 Tue Jul 21 2015 04:04 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 722
H
Shop Shark
A Hillbilly farmer asked his friend John, for a big favor. You see, he had a poor old crippled mare that needed to be put down and he didn't have the heart to do it himself. He asked John to do it for him and John agreed.
Now John had an opportunity to play out a joke on his teenage son, Joe-Bob. He fabbed up a story that he was really angry with this farmer and was going to learn him a lesson but good. He and Joe-Bob drove up to the pasture and he pointed out the mare... "see that horse?" With that, he raised his rifle and fired a shot... Ka-BLAM... dropping the animal in its tracks.
As he was getting back in the truck he was startled by another shot, KA-BLAM... fired by Joe-Bob, who decided to also drop the prize bull.


1959 Chevy Apache 3200 Stepside
In the Stovebolt Gallery
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"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." ~ George Bernard Shaw
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